a fake story

Thinking about those things never made her optimistic. These past few days have been very tiring for her. But she has been stressed for no apparent reason. Random images keep on flashing to her mind but she was not able to recognized any of those... until she had finally convinced herself that she needs to see a doctor. According to her personality test she is highly paranoid and histrionic. Maybe, she has totally gone insane. Good for her.

She hates everyone around her. Aside from those people who frankly said that they don't like her, she started to hate the presence of the people who keep on saying that they love her. No, it's not that she does not want a company anymore... but it's just because she had realized that these people are just the same. They would listen to her, then eventually, hate her for her opinions... and her actions. She is not depressed because she feels like nobody is willing to give her time any more, but it's the idea of wanting to escape and go to far away land but couldn't find an opportunity because everyone tries to hug her as if they know what is on her mind. They are just as crazy as she is.

She is not sick... but she often feels the pain on her head... slowly going downward to her chest... and the pain would stay there for a very long time until she could no longer stand it.

She wants to thank everyone around her, but they seem to focus only on the stories that she keeps on telling in front of them over and over again. Then she became mad... but she could not tell them for they are the important persons in her story. She became jealous of everybody's achievements but could not accept the idea so she always pinch herself every time this thought comes to her mind. They are not true... they are just part of her novel.

She always hear that phrase from their mouths, but the statement seems unreal for her. She is just being fooled by them... they are lying. She knows that, because when they told her that she is valuable, she would see the evidences of lying.. and those are often transparent... enough to make her understand everything. She has reached the period where she often feel tired and distressed... and those things made her numb of every pain that may ruin her concentration. They are all liars.... and someday, when she get the chance and energy to do what she wants, she would leave them... like what they did to her in the past. And she would never look back because she does not want to break the strong determination inside her. She will just walk away.