Addiction

i was supposed to say no. but i felt the urge of accepting all the offers and say yes instead of walking away with nothing. so every time the world is offering the same things that i have been enjoying since i discovered that there could be more to life, i’m accepting everything with wide arms open. those are the same things that i’ve known for so long, but the idea of having them all again and seeing myself float from sticky mud of agony is the most beautiful thing that life could offer to someone like me. it’s like an addiction. when i took it the first time, i said i will never take it again, but i kept on going back and asking for more until i couldn’t stand the cravings. honestly, i cannot blame myself for grabbing all the opportunities. they just make me whole.

and so here i am now, almost running just to take another chance. my feet start to bleed and my back has been aching due to constant running and walking. but i know everything will be fine once i go back to where i came from with full of joy in my heart. im sure i will not fail because the opportunities are always there, just waiting for my return. but sometimes i pray to heaven that this addiction stays longer than i’ve been expecting. i hope.

sometimes, you can never say what will make the person satisfied. with my status now, i know i am better than what i was few years ago. but the chances that i keep on murmuring before are still the same chances that i am praying now. i hate new when it comes to this kind of issue. i don’t want anything. i’d rather stay to the original. at least im fine with this situation even though its hard. the important thing is im happy. it might end to many conflicts later on but im ready for all the possibilities. besides, i know everyone will walk with me. and everyone is nodding because they know how fun it is to have this kind of opportunity.

you can’t have a certain thing in just one pray, really. it takes time. life is great..and that depends on how you are going to perceive it. and now that i have found mine, i will never ever lose it again. thank God for this addiction.