and here we go again... tantanananan...

and so here i go again… thinking about the things that i should have never done. blaming myself for the words that i should have never said. and looking back at the places that i should have never visited. but i thought…it’s over. i cannot go back to fix all of those. besides, i gained. maybe i lost some. but still i was able to learn and see the things that i have never ever thought possible. those were products of illusions before…and now they are real.

after a long hour of sleep, i got up with too much hope and enthusiasm. somehow, deep inside my heart, i was a bit broken, irritated, and confused. but that’s ok. everything’s normal. these feelings are the same feelings that i feel everytime bad things occur…especially when i know i should be affected. like what… national issues, office issues, family issues…and so on and so forth. there are so many things..and they just make my day ruined. and so i’m stressed… tired of all the things that have been bothering me lately. this “nicole rape case” issue, “nation of servants” statement, and early political campaigns… complicated yet worthy of my attention. what does my problem has to with these issues now? none. they’re not even part of it. only, i realized that in some way or another, they are the same. complicated. tiring. bullshit.

anyway, i’m not coward. i know with the problems that the world is facing now and with all the coward people that should be solving those issues yet hiding behind their closets, i know, i must face my own and live peacefully in the society that is really chaotic. ironic. yes. i have been looking at the brighter sides. fortunately, i have been living with that philosophy. only that, some sides of life are not bright (really) no matter how positive you look at it. natural order of things.